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Last Evenings on Earth

Last Evenings on Earth

Part 10: Piracy—Not the Fun Kind



Simone's statement is definitely a much more damaging bomb.
Attendee I: Ms. Simone, did you just say something about the Foundation?
Attendee I: Are we not moving off-topic? We were discussing our efforts to identify substances immune to the "Storm." What is all this about the Foundation?
Medicine Pocket: No idea, but it's sure to be the most cheerful, positive, wonderful news.
Medicine Pocket: That'll teach you to run Madam Bucket Head out of town. Now it's going to be those Foundation dimwits calling the shots, ha.
Enigma: I won't stand for the Foundation ordering Laplace around. I'll set things straight with them later, you have my word.
He raises his hands in exasperation before promptly dropping them and slumping back into his chair.
Enigma: In fact, Ms. Simone, you may relay my message now.
Simone: I understand your concerns, Mr. Enigma. But given our present circumstances, the Foundation's involvement may have a bright side.
She unfolds a neatly prepared document.
Simone: The resolution the Foundation relayed to me was principally concerned with your "Artificial Storm" project, Mr. Ulrich.
Ulrich: ...?
Attendee II: What? Did you switch gears on us, Ulrich?
Ulrich: For flux's sake! All I did was ask for a little support.
Simone: Speaking of, the Foundation also sent through their approval for your other requests.
Simone: Mostly, anyway. They agreed to supply the majority of your requested materials, including replenishing a portion of our asymmetrical nuclide R, and they've dispatched field investigators to assist us.
Simone: Additionally, they've done preliminary screenings on the locations you mentioned and confirmed they meet the specifications of our experiments.
Attendee I: The Foundation has never been this generous with us before.
Ulrich: ...!
Joy rushes through Ulrich. He feels almost in a daze.
Medicine Pocket: Don't go popping the champagne just yet, Ulrich!
Medicine Pocket: Our new bosses aren't going to come anywhere close to replacing all the asymmetrical nuclide R you've wasted!
Ulrich ignores them, his gaze fixated on the letter in Simone's hands.
Ulrich: Still, it's all too easy. What's the catch?
Simone: They want to witness our results—firsthand.
The table is smacked once again.
Ulrich: Deal!
Ulrich: Someone—anyone—take down the minutes!
Ulrich pounds the table once more, sending waves through the ferrofluid.
Simone: They also sent over another possible location that they haven't been able to confirm.
Simone: A ship.
Simone: The Foundation has requested that you investigate it personally.
Simone: The Timekeeper will brief you on the details.
...
Regulus: Fine, Fish Tank, you're off the hook for now.
Regulus glances at them, then her eyes fix on Ulrich, who is calmly removing his disguise.
Regulus: ...
Regulus: Just so we're clear. You're not planning to smuggle out my "treasure," right?
Ulrich: I wouldn't think of it.
Regulus: Fab, and you're not angling that I foot the bill for this excursion, right?
Ulrich: ...
Ulrich clears his throat before steering the conversation back on track.
Ulrich: The Foundation's intel appears accurate. After some preliminary checks, I am certain this will be an ideal locale to conduct our experiments.
Ulrich: I've never seen such intense readings of asymmetrical nuclide R outside of the "Storm."
Regulus: Now hold on a minute, Ulrich!
Regulus: You're not about to take a swim, are you?
Ulrich: Only if necessary.
Regulus: With my record! You've got to be off your rocker, mate!
Ulrich quickly abates her protestations by presenting her with the record.
Ulrich: Not at all. It's time it was returned to its rightful owner.
Regulus: ...!
She embraces the record like an old friend.
Regulus: Oh, my darling, oh, my treasure, welcome home! I'll broadcast your tracks on Radio APPLe for 72 hours straight and hold the rockin'-est party ever just for you! Oh! You've got my word!
The joy of this reunion pours out of her, before a graver possibility flashes across her mind.
Regulus: Hold on. You're not about to withhold my funds, are you?!
Ulrich: Fret not, Regulus.
Ulrich: Given its special significance to you, we made its composition analysis our first priority. Now that the first step is done, I'm more than happy to return it to you.
Regulus: But what about your experiments?
Clutching her "little thing" in her hands, Regulus hesitates, then reluctantly hands it to Ulrich.
Ulrich clears his throat again, donning the feigned formality of his "disguise" once more.
Ulrich: Not to worry. I've already made arrangements.
He proudly raises his coat to unveil Laplace's latest masterpiece.
Dozens of identical "little thing" records are stacked neatly together.
Ulrich: We went to great lengths to ensure these replicas were identical in every way. We even reproduced the ink used in the signature.
Ulrich: Identical down to their heart and soul, courtesy of Laplace craftsmanship. We've achieved complete consistency in both composition and appearance.
Ulrich's proud tone is cut off by Regulus's exclamation of surprise.
Regulus: What?!
Regulus: Well, I've got to hand it to you; they're dead-ringers for the real thing.
Regulus: But this is piracy, and not the fun kind! Musical piracy!
Ulrich: ...
Ulrich: Drastic times call for drastic measures. I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive us, Regulus.