Part 3: The One With an Umbrella

J: So like I said, Antony's turned on us.
J: Any idea where the bastard is now?
Becket: Last I heard from him, he mentioned he was seeing a cousin from L.A., then poof, gone.
J: If we're going to get anywhere, first things first, we gotta find this rat and wrench out all the dirt on his new crew.
J: Let's hit up Old Philip's joint first for the lowdown.
Pioneer: Good luck, boys.
Pioneer: But just to be on the safe side, I'd advise you all to carry something for protection.
J: So, you think we need to start hittin' the streets strapped? Are we ready for that kind of heat?
Pioneer: Perhaps not. We aren't common criminals, after all. Merely members of a grassroots, non-charitable volunteer group, maintaining order in the neighborhood and providing meals and shelter for the homeless and displaced.
J: Haha, if Tang Ji gets wind of that, he's sure to throw us out once and for all.
J: Catch you later, fellas! See ya, doc! And thanks for everythin'!
In San Francisco, information is like the threads of a spider's web, spun across every corner and between each alleyway.
"Street artists," skateboarders, and every variety of buskers and food vendors ... This place is more than just a street. It is a source of livelihood, and a home.
J and his crew would fight to protect this community, and that would begin with finding the trail of one particular rat.
Eternity: Hello there, boys! Can I interest you in perusing my latest umbrella?
Eternity: Open it, take shelter beneath its magnificent struts, and not a single raindrop shall touch you.
J: How often do you think it rains here, Eternity?
Becket: Plus, we've already got a whole stash of lost umbrellas back at our joint.
Eternity: Is that so? But I have many more treasures here! An endless supply of pickled salmon, an inexhaustible sweet berry crisp, a wind-up toy older than your great-grandmother's great-grandmother ...
Eternity: And a mirror that keeps you looking young forever!
Eternity: Old things are always kept in the hands of the old—a form of solidarity some might say. Care to take a look?
Old Philip: J? What are you doing hanging out here with the street vendors?
Eternity: Street vendors? Such an unsightly word.
The lady's words drift past their ears unheard.
J: That gut of yours is a sight for sore eyes, Old Philip! What, you been hearing on Haight Street recently?
Hollick: It's even bigger than mine, and that's sayin' somethin'!
The stout, good-natured man pats his stomach, following his leader, smiling and greeting their old neighbor.
But the old man's face is twisted with disappointment.
Old Philip: Nah, don't ask me. I'm closing shop—for good.
Old Philip: Yesterday, no, the day before yesterday, I signed it away to those bastards.
J: How come this is news to me?
Old Philip: Since when do I gotta keep you in the loop of what I do with my business?
Old Philip: Besides, I have no idea who those guys were! But I didn't have any choice. I called Blackhand, but he said he couldn't do anything about it! I wonder how much goddamn hush money he's pocketing for looking the other way?
Old Philip: I guess he forgot he came up on this street too?
Becket: Looks like our sheriff buddy's not too popular around here these days.
J: Haven't seen a cop get a warm welcome here since I was in diapers.
J: But come on man, don't rush into something like this—why you in a hurry to go? A contract's just a piece of paper.
Old Philip: Just paper? Ha, yeah, until a lawyer comes knocking with his briefcase. Then it feels like a lot more than just a bit of paper.
Old Philip: Goddamn vultures!
Old Philip: They don't hold back when they're raiding your wallet.
Old Philip: Watch out, J, they'll be coming for you next. They've already snatched up Dominick's and Ferraro's shops on the main strip.
Old Philip: Snatched up, ha. It's straight-up theft! Looks like Dr. Liu's their next mark. Sheesh ...
The old man seems like a shaken bottle about to pop.
J: Oh, they rolled up, alright, but me and the guys already squared things away for the doc.
Becket props himself on Hollick's wide shoulders, cracking his fists with a wide grin.
Old Philip: Good luck to ya. I'm off to New Orleans, J. An old pal's doing some arcanum biz down on the Mississippi, hawking voodoo dolls, bat crap ... all that snake oil stuff.
Eternity is drawn in by the mention of the locale.
Eternity: New Orleans! Planning on a restful slumber in Lafayette Cemetery?
J: Hold up, lady. I've been meaning to ask ... I don't think I've ever seen you on Haight Street before.
Eternity: Oh? I didn't realize there was any such rule, young man.
J: Nah, I mean, hustlers gotta hustle, right? I'm just curious.
Eternity: All I'm doing is trying to find the right buyer for this little thing.
She presents an unremarkable, almost ugly wind-up toy, yet her smile suggests it is something more.
Old Philip: Over there—
Following the old man's gaze, they see a group of cursing tramps being chased off by police.
Patrolman: No loitering! Move along, people, move!
Tramp I: We've been here for months! What's the deal?!
Patrolman: Things change, wanna complain? Take it up with the stick.
The Haight Street patrolman ruthlessly drives off the homeless from their usual hangouts on the street.
Hollick: They're kicking people out!
Eternity: What a shame!
Patrolman: Don't let me catch you hanging around here again.
J: Hey!
Patrolman: Who's that?
J: Bruno? Did some poor sap spit on your shiny new shoes? You're all fired up today.
Patrolman: Get out of my way, kid. Don't think I've forgotten you covering for those hoodlum kids I collared last time.
Patrolman: Besides, it's not like I want to do this, but I've got orders. These bums have to be out by the end of the day.
J: So where they supposed to go? Street kids with no home, jobless hobos—cut 'em some slack. This spot's closest to the soup kitchen.
Patrolman: "Where they supposed to go?" Anywhere they want, so long as it ain't here.
Patrolman: You gonna play the hero?
J: Put that thing down first, Bruno.
J: I'll get them outta here. I swear these guys won't cause any trouble on your beat.
The patrolman's hard face softens, if only slightly, as if realizing he doesn't have to play the villain today.
Patrolman: That's right. Nobody makes trouble on my beat. I want them out of here.
J: Blackhand only said you were rounding up the illegals. He didn't say nothin' about clearing out all the street kids.
Patrolman: Couldn't tell you anything about that, J. I'm just following orders.
Becket: Why don't we go warm up the stove back at the club? We can whip up some grub for them, get them off the street.
Becket: Whatcha say, boss?
J: Everyone's got a right to a square meal.
Patrolman: Yeah, and how many meals you gonna cover for them? You wanna be a hero, be my guest, but one way or another, they need to be off the street by tomorrow. Else I come knocking, got it?
J: Got it, you've already given me enough trouble for a lifetime, pal.
J pats the officer's shoulder, then turns to address the fearful tramps.
J: If anyone's still hungry ...
J: And if you're after a bed that ain't under the open sky ...
J: If you're down to hear what your pal, J of Haight Street, has to say ...
J: Then come on, follow me and my crew!
They hesitate for a moment before the first brave soul steps forward, crossing the street to join J. More and more follow, drawn by J's promise of food and shelter.
Eternity: Ah, you make a fine shepherd, young man. Staff in hand, accompanied by two sheepdogs, large and small, leading your flock back to the fold.
J: Sputnik, get the hot sauce. I'm gonna fix up a Chinese-Mexican beef roll for everyone.
J: They'll be breathing fire in no time!
Sputnik: Are you sure, Mr. J, that-that doesn't sound like it would be a good thing.
J: Hollick! Hollick, where did you run off to?! You're cookin' the next batch!
J: Becket! Becket!!! Get those dishes out. We're swamped in the kitchen!
Pioneer: Line up, everyone, line up. Elderly and children up to the front, please. Let's keep this civil. There's enough for everyone. No need to rush.
Pioneer: Things haven't been this lively here in a long time.
Pioneer: Used to be we'd have a lunch rush from all the immigrants nearby, but well that's dried up too.
J: Yeah, so long as Blackhand has them locked up. Dammit, I wanna know who's putting all this pressure on him, then I wanna kick that dude's face in.
J: Anyways, can someone call Dr. Liu? We got someone feeling sick here. We're gonna need his help.
J: Hey, how many tagged along with us today?
Pioneer: Twenty-one new friends followed you back, and three old ones.
Eternity: Am I an old friend or a new one? I am old, but I'm new here.
J: Huh? Didn't expect you to tag along.
Eternity: Oh? Surprised?
Eternity: Show some respect for your elders, won't you, boys? Do you have any of that sweet sponge cake here?
Sputnik: Eternity, ma'am, I'm afraid we cannot do any custom meals unless you are willing to pay extra off the menu.
Pioneer: Everyone, please line up, no pushing, no stepping on each other—everyone's getting fed.
Becket: About that, J, listen, we can't keep feeding all these mouths for nothing. Business ain't been so hot lately.
In front of everyone, Becket, distributing the pasta, whispers his concerns to J.
Becket: We can't just keep these folks fed forever, J. Maybe tomorrow we should ...
Tramp I: We can work! We'll handle the heavy stuff, back you up in brawls. We'll even take the fall for one of you, if that's what you need.
Becket: Doesn't matter. We still can't turn Tang Ji's into a shelter.
Becket: We're taking care of them today, J, but tomorrow they might have to ...
J: I'll find them a way out.
J: Let's get everyone's belly full. We'll worry about the rest later.
J: Tang Ji hooked us up, so we'll hook them up the same.
Becket: Alright, you're the head honcho, we'll do whatever you say. Hollick, jump in over here and toss some extra meat on everyone's plates.
Eternity: You've got one smart companion there.
Pioneer: That's his nature, madam.
Long after the diner's closed sign goes up, the place is still busier than ever.
J: Any of you heard from Antony?
Tramp II: Antony? What's up with him?
J: Nothing—Have you seen the loser?
Tramp II: Loser? Yeah, he's turned into a real loser.
The tramp wipes the hot sauce from his lips and pats his belly, contentedly full for the first time in a long time.
Tramp II: West Coast Star.
Tramp II: I popped in for a drink, and saw Antony there with a few chicks. Bottle service, a private room—where did he get that kind of dough?
Sputnik: Ah! I have been there, yes. But I did not see Mr. Antony.
Eternity: Darling, were you playing the shiny disco ball there?
Sputnik: Ahem, nyet, no, that was not me.
J: The West Coast Star? Yeah, I know the place.
Tramp II: Hollick, can I get a soda?
Becket: Done eating? Then how about you get your ass into the kitchen? This diner ain't no place for sponges, unless they're working the dishes!
J: Give him a break, Becket.
The golden sunset washes over San Francisco's iconic bridge, shortly before it reaches the diner.
J: Take care of our new pals, fellas. Don't let us down. Tomorrow at ten, we meet back at my shop.
J: That's ten sharp. I'll come and yank you right out of that sty you call a bedroom, if I have to.
Becket & Hollick: Got it, boss!
Pioneer: Where are you off to now, J?
J: Gonna catch up with an old buddy—our "pal" Antony.
Sputnik: And you're going alone?
J: I need the rest of the crew to hold down the fort here.
J: So, I'm rolling solo on this one.
Pioneer: Just use your head, J. Don't do anything you'll regret.
Before the gentleman's words have left his lips, J has already walked away. And any other words are lost in the roaring of his motorcycle's engine.
Then, the rider vanishes into the twilight of San Francisco like a bolt of lightning.
Eternity: Thinks he's the action star of his own blockbuster, doesn't he? Very well, go forth, lone hero.
Eternity: A fine young man. By the way, Ms. Sputnik, what time is it?
Hollick: Just a little before seven.
Sputnik: Why didn't you let me answer her?
Eternity: What, it's seven already?! Oh! Is there a TV here?! My show's starting—everyone come closer, turn on the TV and let's dive into the story.