A dark forest lies nestled in the unclaimed land behind the prison.
As she walks over the dry grass, the forest merges with the night. In the shadowy outlines, Mercuria sees a familiar shape making its way toward her.
Fingers: I trust you've brought what I asked for, as per our agreement.
Shadows descend vertically from above, the sounds of the highway carrying horizontally from afar.
Mercuria: Yes.
Fingers: Glad you didn't flake out.
Something moves closer; nesting sparrows flap their wings and fly out from the spot.
MacGuffin the Knife: Woof!
Leaf shadows, bird silhouettes, tree figures, and even human shapes, shattered by the sudden bark of a dog, hidden in Mercuria's arms.
Fingers: MacGuffin the Knife!
Fingers walks into a more concentrated area of moonlight, his lackey following closely by his side.
Fingers: We still gotta make sure ...
Fingers: Yeah, that's the pooch, MacGuffin the Knife.
The soft shuffling of footsteps grows nearer. Mercuria stands before him, clutching MacGuffin the Knife.
Mercuria: Where's Pickles?
Lackey: Where are we keeping old Pickles, eh?
The lackey turns his head to Fingers, flashing him an unseen look.
Pickles: Woof!
A second bark is heard, this time from behind Fingers.
MacGuffin the Knife: Aroof, arf, arf, arf! Arf, arf, arf, arf ...!
Pickles: Whuh, woof, aroo—whuh, aroo, aroo, aroo!
The sky is filled with the relentless sound of barking and yipping from the two dogs, until after a good half minute, the dogs finally cease their uproar.
Fingers: Yeah, yeah. Pickles is right here.
Fingers: Here's the deal. We count down from five. I've got your dog, you're holding mine. We step forward at the same time.
Mercuria nods.
Fingers: Five.
Fingers takes a step forward.
Mercuria takes a step forward.
Fingers: Four.
Fingers: Three.
Fingers: Two.
In an instant, Pickles wiggles free from Fingers and leaps to the ground.
MacGuffin the Knife, the legendary Chihuahua, falls from Mercuria's hold.
...
Mercuria: … ?!
A bullet rips through the air from somewhere in the trees. From their reactions, it hadn't been from either party.
???: Like my mom would always say, you'd have to have onions for brains not to figure this out.
Mercuria: ...
Mercuria: Two hitmen ...?
Two figures, armed with PP-19 Bizon submachine guns, curse under their breath as they step out from behind the trees.
???: Once you pull the bolt and load the round, your timing needs to be spot-on, because each time you pull the trigger, you'll fire a bullet.
???: Don't treat this like it's not a big deal. Now, focus, AJ! Or you're gonna run out of ammo!
AJ: ... <But I hit something, didn't I?>
ONiON: We can now reveal that the suspects have been captured, and are currently awaiting pre-trial legal proceedings.
ONiON: Panzo and AJ, the duo responsible for the gas station explosion.
ONiON: They too, just like the other characters in our tale, were after MacGuffin the Knife.
ONiON: And yes, both gave us an exclusive interview from prison. For the complete story, be sure to watch our next special.
ONiON: We've made sure to censor the exact language of the interview to uphold the values this program has always championed.
The killers march confidently toward the person on the floor, stepping over the dazed lackey.
Panzo: They squat down and check for any sign of breathing.
Panzo: Dead.
Panzo: No question about it, this is Fingers for sure.
Panzo: That's one problem solved, but did you catch where that dog ran off to?
AJ: ... <Yeah. I saw it run off.>
Panzo: It ran away? Hell, I can't see squat in this dark.
AJ: ...
The blinding white beam of the flashlight cuts through torn pant hems, worn shoes, crossing branches, and thick leaves, resting finally on a shadowy form.
Panzo: Goddammit.
Panzo's voice is laced with an unmistakable air of despair.
Panzo: This isn't MacGuffin the Knife.
Panzo: So, what the hell is this dog doing here?!
On the grass, a Border Collie is curled up in the trembling arms of a silver-haired girl.
Mercuria: Uh ...
Pickles: Whuh, whuh ... whuh ... whuh?!
The Border Collie lifts its head, staring at the disoriented hitmen, Panzo and AJ, beneath the dark sky.
Pickles: Whuh ... <Hello there ...>
Pickles: Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, whuh-woof. <Under both ethical considerations and the framework of the law, your actions are thoroughly reprehensible.>
"Doggie": The puppy feels deep disgust and anger towards your behavior.
