Blind Fortune Teller: Some sixty or seventy years ago, archaeologists came across bamboo slips inscribed with talismans to drive away evil spirits hidden among the Eastern Han tombs, along with the dozens of sealed wells.
Blind Fortune Teller: The story behind the sealed wells remains a mystery. The professors studying those ancient texts refuse to speak about them.
Blind Fortune Teller: My master's master, and those before him, all said the same—this Destiny had been a dry well for centuries.
Blind Fortune Teller: Now, a spring has surged to the surface, and the well overflows. Maybe its mission has come to an end now that it has crossed paths with that girl.
Blind Fortune Teller: Her karmic bond with Under the Bridge has ended. No need to watch the well anymore. You can take her back now.
Blind Fortune Teller: Stay away from her and stay out of trouble, and maybe you'll avoid your own calamity.
Demi-Divine Chen: I know where to draw the line.
He chooses not to respond to the blind fortune teller's words.
...
...
Ten days later
This is the agreed meeting spot, deserted and lifeless. When you're among the dead, there is no one who can share your secrets.
An-an sits on a rock opposite Chen, swinging her legs.
Demi-Divine Chen: Since you've proven yourself qualified, I'll tell you the rules passed down from our great grandmaster.
Demi-Divine Chen: Sit still and listen carefully.
An-an straightens up, her legs no longer swinging, and listens carefully.
Demi-Divine Chen: First, never mention anything about that well to anyone.
Demi-Divine Chen: Second, now that your bond is severed, you must never return to the well. Ever. Understand?
Demi-Divine Chen: If you break either of these rules, I swear on our great grandmaster, you'll be struck by lightning.
An-an Lee: So, I can't tell anyone about Lily.
She murmurs to herself before giving a firm nod.
An-an Lee: I understand, Sifu.
Her tone sounds serious, as if she's grown up all of a sudden.
Demi-Divine Chen: Good. Then ...
Demi-Divine Chen: Listen up, kiddo. Now that you're my apprentice, it's time to start with the first teaching—Russian Courage Training.
He guides the girl, her eyes covered by a red cloth. She extends both hands forward, groping at the air in an attempt to determine her location.
An-an Lee: Whoa, Sifu, I can't see a thing! What kind of courage training is this? The ghosts are, like, totally invisible with this thing on!
Demi-Divine Chen: Most of these so-called ghosts are just images people conjure up, energy-taking form based on human imagination. That's why ghosts in the East and West are so different from one another, and the methods for exorcizing them are so distinct.
Demi-Divine Chen: In essence, those ghost-hunting amateurs don't banish the energy itself. They only use their so-called tools to clear the imagination from their own minds.
Demi-Divine Chen: It's like how people turn on the light to drive away the darkness. It's a short-term fix, only capable of handling the weakest of energies.
Demi-Divine Chen: People who believe in ghosts also play a part in creating their image, but as exorcists, we must go beyond the imagination and see the ghost's essence to get rid of it.
Demi-Divine Chen: Exorcists are generally born with yin-yang eyes. Believe me, more than one exorcist has been known to go insane after letting their imagination run wild.
An-an Lee: So, I'm not supposed to see them the way I imagine them in my head?
He adjusts her blindfold, pulling it tighter.
Demi-Divine Chen: That's right. Kiddo, you'll be staying here tonight. I've set up a tent and paper effigies for you. When midnight has passed, you'll start burning the spirit money on your own.
Demi-Divine Chen: I'll come by to pick you up tomorrow morning. If you take off the blindfold halfway through, don't bother waiting for me. Just go back home.
The girl hesitates as if she wants to say something but decides against it.
Demi-Divine Chen: It's not too late to back out now. If you've changed your mind, don't go wasting your time.
An-an Lee: No, it's not that. Sifu, I've been meaning to ask, how come you're not afraid of ghosts, but you're afraid of that "calamity" of yours?
An-an Lee: I heard you guys talking when I was at the bottom of the well. That old blind man was saying something about me being your calamity and some stuff about karma. Is that really how it works?
Chen goes quiet. He didn't anticipate this.
Demi-Divine Chen: You heard?
A cold laugh escapes his mouth.
A gust of wind rushes through the cemetery.
Demi-Divine Chen: Ain't you worried that I'll leave you here to die and no one will ever find out, kiddo?
The girl cracks a smile, as if she's just heard a twisted joke.
An-an Lee: Hahaha! Sifu, you wouldn't do that! I know you're not cut out to be a bad guy.
Chen waves his hand.
Demi-Divine Chen: My calamity is ordained by destiny. Ain't no avoiding it. Since I haven't gone down the well, it'll come for me eventually, and you'll be the one to lead it here.
Demi-Divine Chen: I'm only willing to teach you because I know you won't be able to handle it, and my calamity will be delayed and ultimately averted.
Demi-Divine Chen: As for ghosts? They're no big deal to me, not a real threat at all.
Demi-Divine Chen: This place, though, it's haunted as heck, kiddo. Be careful, or you might end up covered in blood with your head split open.
Demi-Divine Chen: See you at sunrise, kiddo.
An-an Lee: Sure, a night like this is way too fun to pass up! And with Lily here, I'm gonna be just fine!
She holds the unblossomed lily close, squatting down like a devoted believer.
...
...
Dawn
Chen makes his way through the light morning mist, crossing the cemetery with eager anticipation in his steps.
Fading Spirit: Please, I'm begging you, take her ... just take her away, please ...
The ground is littered with talisman papers. The ghost desperately claws its way back under the gravestone, but its hand happens to grab Chen's ankle in the process.
Demi-Divine Chen: Ugh!
Thrown off balance, he plummets to the ground, his head colliding with the gravestone on the way down.
An-an Lee: Whoa! Sifu, is that you?
An-an finally removes the blindfold.
She dashes forward, ignoring Chen and grabbing the fleeing ghost.
An-an Lee: Hey, wait up! This brick's not even fully charged yet! Boss, I just need a bit more. Why're you taking a nap?!
Demi-Divine Chen: ...
Vegetable scraps and plastic bags float in the dirty water at their feet, emitting a repulsive stench.
An-an Lee: Sifu, what kind of ghost are we hunting now? It smells so bad. I'm gonna have to scrub for three days straight to get this stink off. Urgh!
An-an Lee: One more thing, Sifu. Your head's really okay?
He waves his hand once again.
Demi-Divine Chen: cough It's nothing.
Demi-Divine Chen: This time, I'm taking away all your exorcism tools. Tonight, you're gonna have to survive in this stinky ghost hole all by yourself.
Demi-Divine Chen: If you wanna be an exorcist, you've gotta be adaptable, like those alchemists in the mountains, grabbing whatever's at hand.
Demi-Divine Chen: Whether it's a toilet plunger or your grandma's dentures, you've gotta use whatever works. Think outside the box. Don't just rely on those talismans, wooden swords, herbs, and fox tails anymore.
Demi-Divine Chen: Still, you should take this protection amulet. It could save your life if things go south.
An-an Lee: Wow, thanks, Sifu! What about Lily? I can take her too?
She holds the delicate lily gently in her hand, as if holding a sleeping kitten.
Demi-Divine Chen: Up to you, kiddo! I'll pick you up tomorrow. No, scratch that, in three days!
He holds his bandaged head as he walks, wincing and muttering to himself as he goes.
Three days later
Demi-Divine Chen: cough Kiddo! Kiddo! That's strange. Where'd she go?
He approaches on tiptoe, his flip-flops making a faint "pap-pap" sound on the wet ground.
Demi-Divine Chen: Damn, kiddo. I thought you were made of stronger stuff than this. I was starting to think you could take on anything.
Demi-Divine Chen: Well, I guess I'm still your Sifu, after all, and since I gave you that protection amulet, you should've made it out of here alive. Guess I'll show a little mercy and find the thing for ya.
A rumbling comes from deep within the tunnel, the vibrations creating ripples on the water's surface.
He looks up. In the distance, a swarm of ghosts rushes toward him, as if fleeing for their long-departed lives.
Demi-Divine Chen: ...?!
???: Hey, it's broad daylight! Where are you all going? Isn't that just asking for trouble, running out there like that? Come on, lighten up!
???: Come back and help me get my Tetris up and running again! It's so boring here! I promise! I promise I'll take good care of you this time!
Demi-Divine Chen: Where's that voice coming from?
Ghost: Save ... Help me ...
A ragged cloth carried by the ghosts is flung over Chen's head, turning everything black.
Demi-Divine Chen: Huh? G-Get this thing off of me! It stinks!
An-an Lee: Eh? Looks like one little fishie slipped through the net! Come on, time to come to Mama, my little power-generating hamster!
She lunges forward, crashing into the man wrapped in cloth, like a lion leaping on its prey.
Demi-Divine Chen: Urgh!
An-an Lee: Still got some fight in you, huh? Hmph, I'll teach you to be a good little fishie!
An-an Lee: Eat my invincible pork rib hammer!
She raises a talisman-covered pig bone that she fished from the sewage earlier high above her head.
Demi-Divine Chen: Ugh! An-an Lee, I've had it up to here with you!
He rips the cloth off his face as he desperately tries to avoid the impending strike.
His backward step just happens to coincide with the cloth landing on the ground, causing him to slip.
*crash*
...
An-an Lee: Sifu, sorry about that. Rest easy. I'll support you by catching ghosts.
Chen, wrapped up like a mummy, lies on the bed with one leg strung up above him.
He turns his face away from her, his tears and snot soaking into the pillow.
Demi-Divine Chen: My whole life's reputation down the drain in an instant. sob Gods above, what do I owe you? A few million? You can't wait to take my life?
The quiet murmurs of the nurses float in from outside the ward.
Nurse I: Like I said, this patient you've got—I've never seen someone so respectful. He went to the cemetery last month to honor his ancestors and ended up cracking his head open on one of the graves!
Nurse II: Seems he's always doing good deeds. This time, he ended up with a broken femur, apparently because he dove into the sewer after his grandma's dentures.
Nurse II: I guess the heavens are on his side, though. Good people get what they deserve, and he's got such a sweet girl taking care of him.
Demi-Divine Chen: ...
An-an Lee: Hey, Sifu, you haven't eaten in days. How about a nice apple?
She raises the peeled apple in her hands to his mouth, but his lips remain firmly sealed.
Demi-Divine Chen: I'm gonna chew you up, I swear it! Get out of here! Look, I'll admit it now. I can't handle this kind of calamity! I ain't teaching you anymore, got it?
Demi-Divine Chen: You think this is all fun and games still? I've already given you half my life, kiddo!
Demi-Divine Chen: Get lost, ya hear me! I didn't take on a student. I took on a walking catastrophe!
An-an remains silent as she places the fruit basket on the bedside table.
An-an Lee: Well, guess I'll head off now. Take care of yourself, Sifu.
Demi-Divine Chen: ...
*knock-knock-knock*
Demi-Divine Chen: What the hell do you want now?! If you're gonna go, just go!
Nurse I: Mr. Chen?
The nurse enters with a tray, a slight look of surprise on her face.
Nurse I: That girl just now asked me to bring over your liquid meal. She said you'd rather take care of yourself.
Nurse I: I get it. Proud men like you aren't the kind to ask for help.
She bends down, wiping the tears and snot from his face.
Demi-Divine Chen: sigh
Three months later
Demi-Divine Chen: Look, even the Bagua Mirror at the door is broken. This place definitely has some dark energy in it. It's totally cursed.
Demi-Divine Chen: No wonder that rich guy spent all that money. Exorcists, priests, monks—he hired them all, and still nothing worked.
Now free from his bandages, Chen takes a drag from his cigarette and lets out a deep sigh.
An-an Lee: Hehe, this time, it's me and my master out on the hunt together! Nothing's gonna stop us! No ghost or god!
An-an Lee: Not to mention that rich old grandpa gave us a bunch of money! Money makes the world go round, even for ghosts! Easy la!
Chen raises a hand, flicks his cigarette to the ground, and snuffs it out beneath his flip-flop.
Demi-Divine Chen: This time, I'm going solo. You wait for me outside, kiddo.
Despite the pout of disappointment on her face, she obediently steps aside.
An-an Lee: Me taking care of the logistics? But, Sifu, your injury just healed. You really sure it's fine?
An-an Lee: Or we can swap places if you're worried I'll bring you bad luck. I can totally handle myself now!
For the first time, he reaches out and places his palm on An-an's head.
Demi-Divine Chen: Heh, you're a real pain in the ass, kiddo. But as a master, letting my apprentice take the lead would be like abandoning all the lessons of the past.
Demi-Divine Chen: This time, I'll be wearing the Three-Clarities Bell. If you hear me ring it, pull the rope and bring me back up. If it doesn't work, you get yourself to safety.
Demi-Divine Chen: Got it?
An-an gives a reluctant nod.
An-an Lee: Sure.
Demi-Divine Chen: Catch you later, kiddo.
He quickly disappears into the darkness beyond the door.
Half an hour passed ... One hour passed ...
The sun descends from its place high in the sky, and An-an's shadow stretches longer and longer until it has almost completely vanished.
An-an Lee: Sifu?
She bangs on the door, but there is no answer from the other side.
An-an Lee: ...
Streetside Fortune Teller: Young lady, I haven't come across palm lines like these for a long, long time. You've faced many calamities already, but your life force is more resilient than a thousand-year-old tortoise. You're not like the rest of us.
Streetside Fortune Teller: And the lily on your waist—an object of such extreme yin. Even though its moment has not yet arrived, you've managed to bring it under perfect control. I have to admit, I'm quite amazed.
Streetside Fortune Teller: My path is but a humble one. I can't do much to change your destiny.
An-an Lee: That's not what I wanted to ask. Old man, I just wanna know, if I bring bad luck to people, if I'm their calamity, does that mean I have to stay away from them?
An-an Lee: Any way to, like, get rid of the bad luck I bring?
Streetside Fortune Teller: You want to change someone else's destiny? Young lady, karma will always catch up to you. No matter how strong your life force, you can't go against heaven and earth. It's best to just leave other people to their own destiny.
Streetside Fortune Teller: Besides, if you're their calamity, that means there's a karmic connection between the two of you. They're the ones who have wronged you. There's no need to bring misfortune upon yourself.
She clutches the protection amulet in her hand and shakes her head.
An-an Lee: I've made up my mind. No matter how tough my destiny gets, I'm not running away!
Streetside Fortune Teller: sigh Then, there's only one way forward.
Streetside Fortune Teller: You'll need to stake your own life against the calamity you've drawn upon yourself. If your calamities intersect, you'll either both die or the slate will be wiped clean.
Streetside Fortune Teller: But, if you've made up your mind, do exactly as I say. Carve a slit three cuns below the lower left section of your palm. But remember, once you do so, you must resolve your calamity before the cut heals and forms a scab.
Streetside Fortune Teller: Otherwise ...
He suddenly falls silent.
An-an Lee: ...
An-an stares at the nail clippers in her hand, opens the palm of her other hand, and counts one, two, three cuns with her thumb.
An-an Lee: Hang on, Sifu.
She grits her teeth and makes as deep a cut as she can bear to ensure she has the most possible time before it heals. A thick line of blood pours from the wound and drips on the ground.
"blip-blip-blip"
An-an Lee: panting
She raises her head and crawls into the partially opened, pitch-black "cave."
A broken mirror partially draped in a white cloth stands in the darkness, mist gently rising from its surface.
Shattered exorcism tools from past practitioners have been stacked in the corner by some hidden force, creating a massive, towering heap of debris.
An-an Lee: This blood ... It's not dry yet. Is it Sifu's?
She moves forward, tracing the twisting blood trail on the floor, weaving between the hallway to various rooms and back again.
Then, she feels her foot land on something.
An-an Lee: Is this Sifu's Three-Clarities Bell?
The bell has been shattered, as though it were crushed by some horrifying force.
She crouches down to gather the fragments but quickly uncovers a more terrifying truth.
An-an Lee: Wait a minute, this blood on the floor ... It wasn't here before. Is it still leaking from somewhere?
An-an Lee: What's with the continuous trail of this stuff?
A spine-chilling wind sweeps in from behind.
An-an Lee: Wait, did something lure me here on purpose?
???: Heh-heh-heh.
Blood continues to ooze from the floor, and in the mirror before her, ghostly figures begin to form.
An-an Lee: Eh! Who's that creeping up behind me?
She turns around, only to find no one.
An-an Lee: Sifu, where are you?! Can you hear me?!
The lightbulb bursts, and she is left totally in the dark.
An-an Lee: Crap, looks like I've walked right into a trap.
She kneels down, spreads open a roll of blank yellow paper, and smears it with blood, chanting softly under her breath.
An-an Lee: "Holy yellow-robed warriors, sever these evil spirits, banish these demons."
An-an Lee: "Crush the wicked, annihilate their kind. Command the execution of evil, in accordance with the Jade Emperor's decree, to cleanse the Three Realms!"
She knocks her teeth three, six, twelve, twenty-four—thirty-six times.
The wicked spirits scream and howl, as if the sound has pierced their eardrums, sending them writhing on the ground in agony.
An-an Lee: Hah, hahah, looks like it's working, but why's my head so dizzy?
Blood is still pouring out of her wound. It trickles down her palm and drips down to the floor.
An-an Lee: Is it because I'm losing blood? But, wait, it hasn't scabbed over yet! Great! Sifu, your calamity—there's still a chance!
As her head grows lighter, she loses her balance and stumbles to the floor.
On the walls and ceiling, arms begin to form, their deformed shapes reaching out toward her.
An-an Lee: cough Stay behind me, Lily!
Amidst the darkness, the flower bud begins to tremble.
An-an Lee: An object of such extreme yin? So if I leave Lily out in the sun, will she develop wrong?
Streetside Fortune Teller: sigh That's right. You can't raise something like this through conventional methods. Don't listen to those old arcanists who still believe that "yin must weaken, yang must strengthen" nonsense.
Streetside Fortune Teller: "Yang is the ruler, yin the subject. The subject can never surpass the ruler."
Streetside Fortune Teller: "When yang rises, it dominates its yin; when yin hides and dares not reveal itself, the spirits and ghosts remain concealed."
Streetside Fortune Teller: And this flower?
Streetside Fortune Teller: Only when you reach a place where yin spirits linger ...
"... will it bloom."
???: ...
The bud gradually opens up, unveiling the "stigma" at its center.
???: burp
???: $%^@&(^%
???: Hungry ... Hungry ...
At the center of the lily, a petite, delicate head sways happily in the wind.
The glow from the lily surrounds her, creating a barrier that keeps the evil in the darkness at bay.
Abated, the churning, chaotic mass whispers and shivers.
An-an Lee: You're ... Lily?
Lily: Eat, eat #&￥ Fun, fun $%^@&(*^%
COMBAT
He walks out through the back door, flicking a cigarette butt under his flip-flop and stomping it out.
He knows An-an's heart well by now.
Demi-Divine Chen: Thanks for taking the hit for me, kiddo. I'll burn some spirit money for you after your death.
He steps past the spirit-summoning banners stuck by the door, waves his hand, and exits.
Demi-Divine Chen: You see that, you blind fool? I've outsmarted destiny.