"Roland": "Hahaha, evil giant, tremble in fear, for today you shall meet Sir Roland in the field."
"Roland": "Now your devil's luck has run thin!"
"Roland": …
"Roland": Mr. Knight, are you entirely sure this is Sir Roland's line?
A Knight: Ahem …
A Knight: Someone reminds you that Sir Roland then was still a spirited young man.
A Knight: It was time now to face the giant.
A Knight: The giant was just as the letter warned and more, for Felgert was of a monstrous height, and his bare skin was covered with mange and pustules.
"Roland": "Allow me!"
A Knight: Sir Roland spurred his horse onwards and charged Felgert.
"Roland": Uh, Mr. Knight, how can I spur my house? Do you see any horses about?
A Knight: Hm ... a fair point indeed.
A Knight: Perhaps Someone will seek the aid of Mr. Darley Clatter to play the role of Roland's steed.
A Knight: Yet in the meantime, you need to only pretend to be riding a horse.
A Knight: As you say your next line.
"Roland": "Bedeviled giant, today you face your doom!"
A Knight: Sir Roland cried out at the pinnacle of his charge.
A Knight: As he raised the Everlasting Sword high and brought it down on the giant's ankle—
A Knight: The blade collided with the giant's ankle, sliding as if across a sheet of uneven metal, sending forth a shower of yellow sparks.
A Knight: The blow had left the giant entirely unharmed. It served only to set the brute into a fitful anger.
A Knight: The giant reached out his hand, snatching Roland from his horse, and held him high in the air.
A Knight: Frightened, his warhorse ran off into the distance, never to be seen again.
A Knight: Just as the battle looked to be lost, Lady Oder furrowed her brow, drew her long sword, and charged.
"Oder": "Ah—"
A Knight: She leaped from her horse high into the air, and drew a long slash across Felgert's bulbous belly.
A Knight: Accompanying her strike came the self-same shower of yellow sparks.
A Knight: But this time the giant let out a gurgling hiss of pain.
"Roland": "The navel, the navel—"
A Knight: Sir Roland shouted breathlessly.
A Knight: Oder heard him and turned to look at Felgert.
A Knight: There had been no trace of damage in her slash across Felgert's belly, save for a hint of blood around his putrid belly button.
"Oder": "Aha, I've found the heel of Achilles!"
A Knight: Lady Oder's heart filled with hope at the thought. And she raised her sword again—
A Knight: But the giant's rage was directed elsewhere. His grip on Roland began to tighten.
A Knight: Sir Roland gave out an agonized scream!
"Roland": "Arghh—"
A Knight: But Oder's sword proved the swifter tool, as she pierced the giant's navel in the nick of time!
A Knight: The goliath shuddered and collapsed.
A Knight: But in death, the giant's fingers remained tightly wrapped around the knight. And blood ran down his knuckles.
A Knight: Oder withdrew her sword from the belly of the giant.
A Knight: They had won the duel.
A Knight: Mr. APPLe, the story is finished. You may lower the lights.
The lights fade.
A Knight: What do you think of the story?
Oliver Fog : It ended too soon. Your Lady Oder defeated the giant. She should go back to be honored for her accomplishment and become a true knight.
Oliver Fog : Really, you've omitted the most crucial part. Perhaps some ivory tower snobs might appreciate your ambiguity, but the masses will demand a satisfactory end for your heroine.
An-an Lee: I agree! The story ends too soon! Lady Oder deserves more to her tale!
An-an Lee: She should return to the castle and be generously rewarded with land and riches!
An-an Lee: With enough wealth of her own, she might go back and build her own house—so that she could have a new future away from her father.
A Knight: I confess, sadly, that Lady Oder never was to be knighted. For even after besting the giant, she chose to leave Brittany. She carried on, ever dedicated to the life of freedom she had long sought.
A Knight: She traveled far and wide across the land in those days, and when she could, she would write to Sir Roland and Oliver recounting her adventures.
A Knight: She won a castle in a duel, and ever unwilling to be tied to the land, she chose to distribute its treasure among the local peasants. A story of that persists in legend.
A Knight: Later still, she met Lady Berguin, with whom she shared many interests. They became lifelong friends and the closest of confidantes.
A Knight: Of course, her letters were the source of much inspiration, and many of Someone's greatest jokes.
A Knight: Someone cannot truly know if Lady Oder was satisfied with this ending.
A Knight: Yet it is enough to say the story is true.
A Knight: Although, it must be confessed, for ease of narration, some slight adjustments were made.
All: Boo—
A Knight's little audience are clearly unhappy with this ending. A Knight seems to pause, as if taken at a loss for words.
Oliver Fog : Even if I disagree with the institution of landed nobility on principle, I see no reason why she couldn't be knighted before she goes off on her travels.
An-an Lee: And if nothing else, why was she never given a reward for killing that giant?! That's not fair!
