A Knight: Lady Oder is a brave and wise woman … Someone thought it would be an ideal role for Ms. An-an.
A Knight: The other character of this play is the brave knight called Roland.
A Knight: At that time, Sir Roland was still just a youth.
A Knight: Rather alike in age to Sir Oliver now.
Oliver Fog checks his timepiece conspicuously.
Oliver Fog : If I must. But may I remind you that this is my leisure time? I'm under no obligation to stay.
Oliver Fog : So I caution you not to make this little play of yours too long.
A Knight: Naturally, this will be a short but glorious story of a brave and noble woman.
A Knight: As for the giant Felgert …
A Knight: He was 15 feet tall, morbidly rotund, mangy, and bald—
A Knight looks around the room.
A Knight: Unfortunately, of those present here, only A Knight can be said to be of comparable stature to the grotesque giant.
A Knight: It falls reluctantly upon Someone's shoulders to take on the role of the gruesome Felgert.
APPLe: And what of brave and true Sir APPLe?
A Knight: The play has run short of speaking roles. Hmm, but I recall Felgert often threw ... rocks, as a means of attack.
A Knight: Knowing that Sir APPLe is well-versed in special effects ...
A Knight: Someone swears not to toss you too roughly—
APPLe: In that case, this APPLe would prefer to work behind the scenes.
APPLe: Perhaps you are in need of a lighting technician?
A Knight: Superb sir! As Ms. Charlie has said, a skilled lighting technician can add tremendous value to a play.
"Narrator": Now, Someone will act as your humble narrator.
"Narrator": At the beginning of this show, Lady Oder was not yet a knight.
"Narrator": Yet she was born to a noble family of great esteem. Indeed, Someone's own close friend, the Knight, Sir Oliver, was born into their house.
"Narrator": At this time, high-born ladies could choose to wear luxurious dresses, wiling their hours away in the market with the other ladies, living as dainty things capable of fainting at a moment's notice.
"Narrator": Or they could choose to familiarize themselves with Latin, so that they might recite Scripture. They would learn proper etiquette and ballroom dancing to be fit as a properly studied lady.
"Narrator": But no matter their choices, their lord father—who held the true power of decision over them—worried over only one thing.
"Narrator": —That is, how he might marry them off properly and advantageously.
"Narrator": Ms. An-an, stand tall, you will not be so fragile as these delicate ladies. For Lady Oder is of an entirely different sort.
"Narrator": She was an unruly child, who only grew in her rebellion and courage, despite the sighing protestations of her mother.
"Oder": Is that so? Hyah!
"Narrator": Bravo! A swift and powerful thrust, that is indeed more like our Lady Oder.
"Narrator": But her father had little patience for her rebellious ways.
"Narrator": He resolved that he must arrange a marriage for her early—before her rebellious spirit set in too deep. For to him, her value was as nothing more than what she could bring him as a bride.
"Narrator": To him a noble daughter was like a Bordeaux wine, or a ruby red as pigeon's blood …
"Narrator": Things that he sneered upon as frivolous fancies behind closed doors, yet nonetheless had to rely on to maintain the prestige of his noble house.
"Narrator": Messengers wore out their shoes with their coming and going, until her father struck a deal with some far-flung nobleman he had never even met.
"Narrator": So that after the coming of our Lady Oder's sixteen year, she would be wed to an aged lord well past his fifties.
"Roland": A rich old creep like that must have paid a king's ransom.
"Narrator": "Roland," you're not on yet. Does Someone need to remind you of the importance of "quiet on set"?
"Narrator": This story does not foreclose the exact terms of their arrangement.
"Narrator": But it is said that during that time, Lady Oder's father began to exhibit behavior quite different from usual.
"Narrator": It may well be that to increase one's worldly possessions is to enhance one's self-esteem.
"Narrator": For during those days, her lord father seemed to have taken on an air of levity and laughter, smiling even on slights that had once had set him to rage.
"Narrator": Until one morning, when the laughter faded—
"Narrator": For Lady Oder had run away towards Brittany, leaving her father only a letter.
"Roland": One can hardly blame her, though I for one, hope that she'd chop off the old man's head—give 'em the old Cromwell treatment.
"Narrator": An intriguing plot suggestion, to be sure.
"Narrator": In those days, the journey to Brittany was fraught with all manner of dangers.
"Narrator": For in addition to the rougher sorts one may find in Brittany, one could also chance upon a roving band of Saxons, Lombards, or Saracens at any time.
"Narrator": Fortunately, our heroine was an able rider—the equal of any experienced knight.
"Narrator": And so it was that Someone first laid eyes upon Lady Oder, just as she arrived at the gates of the Castle of Brittany.
"Narrator": She still wore the gown of a noble lady, though her skirts had been torn in the bushes of that rough country. Her many days of riding left her in utter exhaustion, so that as she leaped from the saddle, she nearly stumbled on the ground.
"Narrator": But her eyes shone as brightly as a tempered blade.
"Narrator": Ms. An-an, this is your cue.
"Oder": … Oh!
"Oder": "Are you Sir Roland? I see nothing so special about you as to be worthy of your fame."
"Narrator": In her words, if not yet her deeds, she would soon transform from a young woman into a warrior.
"Narrator": I must admit, she proved an unparalleled talent in battle.
"Narrator": During those years in Brittany, she joined us in countless battles, winning one victory after another.
"Narrator": Her achievements were remarkable. Her feats became a most dazzling gem on a scepter—impossible for any to ignore.
"Narrator": There had been no precedent for a woman warrior such as her. But after much deliberation, the cardinals agreed to grant her knighthood.
"Narrator": However, the day before the ceremony, she bade Sir Roland to free her from her service.
"Oder": "Sir Roland, I beg you to forgive me, but I cannot attend the ceremony."
"Roland": "Why? Is it not your greatest dream to become a knight?"
"Roland": "Getting those old-fashioned cardinals to agree to knight a woman was no easy feat."
"Oder": "Do you remember my lord father, Roland?"
"Oder": "He has learned that I was in Brittany and has been writing to me, urging me to return so that I might fulfill my long-neglected duties."
"Oder": "He has sent me another letter, a final warning, saying that if I continue in my rebellion—"
"Oder": "He will send his champion, the giant Felgert to 'ask' me to come home."
"Oder": "You can see how he describes this terrible giant in his letter."
"Oder": "15 feet tall, covered in scabies and pustules."
"Oder": "He keeps the company of witches and has impenetrable skin."
"Roland": "So then, you'll do as he wishes and return home?"
"Narrator": A most stirring performance, Ms. An-an. But we must see your smile; let it be fierce and true!
"Narrator": Superb. The exact emotion on display.
"Oder": "Sir Roland, for as many years as we have fought side-by-side, it is a pity you don't know me better."
"Narrator": Mr. APPLe, the time comes to begin the scene of the climactic battle against the giant.
"Narrator": Please adjust the brightness of the stage light, a bit brighter still, if you please.
"Narrator": For the sky that day was a stark and brilliant blue, dotted with white clouds floating above like a silken canopy.
"Narrator": A day that Someone returns to often in memory.
APPLe: Aye-aye.
